I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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