I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
