sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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