For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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