I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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