if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
