I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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