also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize