I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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