Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
