It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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