You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
