I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
