allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize