No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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