i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
