He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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