Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
