why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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