It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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