Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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