Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
