I accidentally burped into my bong.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
