I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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