do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I wear drunk well.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
