She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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