Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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