Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
