why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
