saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
