So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Randomize
