When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Shame - the story of my life.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
