The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
