somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
