You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
