her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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