areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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