i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
