I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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