More tranny stories later!
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
