a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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