i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
