What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
