dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
