Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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