It was confusing and full of hummus
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
