escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
