is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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