You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
