HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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