i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Randomize
