it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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