Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
