Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He better not be in your backpack
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
