last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
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I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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