I need help removing her.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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