We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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