We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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